Mid-Week Confessions
I'm feeling all sorts of emotional the past few days. It's gorgeous outside my window; yes, the wind is blowing fiercely and there is a snowfall warning in effect for my area for the afternoon, but who really cares! At the moment I look out and see a blanket; a stunningly clean, almost majestic sort of sparkling blanket. It's stunning.
When I get busy my mind turns to a fuzzy disaster. I try hard not to look even a day ahead on my calendar, because frankly, I'm afraid I may just shut down entirely and then none of us will get to where my pretty, color coded day planner tells us to be. This summer, a friend referred to me as the energizer bunny. Well, I feel the furthest from that as possible, I think.
I've dropped a lot of those metaphorical balls the past few weeks. I missed several of Little Bear's events this week; I just couldn't be in two places at once. It was one of those guilty mom moments, where you know you can't do it, but the irrational guilt of not being everything to everyone whispered in my ears that you have to try.
He will recover from my lack of attendance. We talked about it and he seemed to understand and not really care all that much, he does after all see me all the time; and what matters more is that I give him my best when we do stop and have that special time.
Anyway, in the midst of chaos I spent a focused hour with him last night. We've been reading a story together. It's a story I've been waiting to read with my boys since they were born. My giant Prince doesn't seem to care, and hasn't participated, but Little Bear has been eating it up!
We reached a pivotal point in the story last time we read, and last night we attacked those next chapters with gusto.
Curled up in a sea of pillows and fluffy down blankets we cuddled. We responded to the words on the page, and Yes, I got all choked up and let those tears fall as I read words I could only pray he understood. Little Bear watched me, unashamed as my tears humbly fell.
His little eyes watched as the story went to work on my heart. I've never made it through those chapters without being overtaken with emotion, I knew that going in, but what better way to show love than to share an honest emotion with the ones you love. The best part though was that he got it! He understood the story and why my tears streamed down my face. He got it!!
So there it is, I'm feeling all sorts of emotional the past few days, maybe better to be more honest and say weeks. But if ever there was a time to embrace emotion it has to be at Christmas....right? And maybe this year, more than ever before, I'm feeling, deep inside, the power of Christmas.
I'm feeling humbled by the abundance of love in my life.
I'm feeling thankful that I have hands and feet that are able to serve where I'm called.
I'm feeling the joy of the season.
I'm feeling the promise of what is to come.
I'm feeling the power of forgiveness when I fall short.
I'm obviously feeling a lot, more than my fuzzy overloaded mind can likely deal with. But I can start by holding the ones I love, going that extra mile and extending a hand when I'm asked. Will I still drop the ball.... oh boy, YES I WILL!
Hold the ones you love in the next week or two, tell them they're important. Sit down and write out that card if you can't share words in person. Every small and simple effort is a morsel for the heart to cherish. Those little things will minister to your heart, and if you're extra blessed, they will minister to the receiver as well!
Enjoy this pending blizzard and the fresh, clean smell of the air when you bundle yourself up to go and shovel your walk! Maybe make yourself a hot chocolate or apple cider to warm yourself up afterwards, also go ahead and invite over the neighbor to share it with! Share the love, the joy, and the laughter as you recollect how you had to grunt and groan to heave that snow out of the way!
It's all about the simple folks, especially during this over indulged, commercialized time of year!
No comments:
Post a Comment