Friday, 30 May 2014


 Life is made of choices, from the mundane of daily living to those big scary commitments that follow you each shuffle and step through your life.
  Marriage is one of those big scary commitments that is hard to shake.
  Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years.  And on it goes.  How many choices are made when that fluffy, floaty, tingly feeling from those first days pass?  
   The fluffy doesn't last forever, believe me.  Throw in work, bills, repairs, sickness, fights; you get the idea, it's not all a giant bed of roses.
  But the thing is, even in the muck, it's great!  
  It's an adventure, each day! Seriously!
  Falling in love is what brings you together, but choosing to love is what keeps it going!  And here's a juicy morsel for you this Friday; choosing to love leads right back to falling in love, it's just shaped a little differently!
  That's my news flash for this fantastic day!  
  Love is a CHOICE!
  I love my choices.  I love the years I can look back on and know I fought, know I didn't always make the best choices, but in those tentative moments I fought, I grew, and now, if I trust what I hold tenderly, and with abundant care in my hands, my life, my love, my choice, is golden!

  Happy Anniversary to my best choice, the greatest adventure.  You are the sunshine, the fireworks that shine bright in the night sky, the pen to my paper, the laughter in a dark tunnel, my tag team on this crazy choose-your-own-adventure we call our life!



Monday, 19 May 2014

T.S. Elliot and a Rainy Day

T.S. Elliot and a Rainy Day
I watched a movie today. It was a perfectly dreary day,  the sort that invoked a desire for comfort and warmth.  The kind that inspires snuggling, the baking of cake, cookies, or other goodies that permeate the air with all things, you guessed it, comforting!
  I'd seen this particular movie before and remember not liking it all that much but I needed a distraction, and because the boys in my life have been obsessed with all things superhero recently, and watched more than their fill of explosions and fighting, I needed something that was far removed from that genre.
  As I said, the first time I saw the movie I wasn't such a fan.  Call it my stubborn refusal to embrace the romantic side of myself, if you will, or call it my refusal to jump on the train of commercialism.  Whatever the reason, though I believe it was the latter, my opinion changed today.
  SIDE NOTE:  When people ask the question, as they inevitably will, what's new? I feel several things happen inside of me at once. 
  #1, I cringe, mostly because it is cliche and that superficial conversation always creeps under my flesh where it causes an adverse reaction that makes me want to scream, stomp and run super fast in the opposite direction.  (Obviously, I have serious issues)
  #2, it makes me want to laugh at the irony, and dive deep into the philosophical.  Because really truly, how can you ever know if something is new until you've had time to steep yourself in it and look back, pondering its significance and know that every day is in fact new, and it is only in our expectations that we are disappointed.  (See!  Obvious issues here.  Also, as you can see, I am a buzz kill at a party!)

  Anyway, I liked the movie, it surprised me in moments how much.  It made me smile.  I shed a tear....or several if I'm honest.  It made me ponder, and though I am not one to swoon for this particular male lead, I could see the appeal, and he made me believe in the story, which obviously was progress from my first viewing.
  Things are new every day.  That is a beautiful fact which I choose to throw myself into time and time again, with each day and its new beginning.  I also believe that I am not the same with each passing day, and why would I be?  Each moment I breathe is a moment of learning, growth and understanding that I hope I don't squander.
  I can pick up my past work, read it through and still love it, though I have changed since the moment that work was conceived.  I can appreciate the work and know it wouldn't be the same if I were to try to recreate it today.  That is life.  We change.  We grow.  We learn.  We live. Each moment we life shapes the way we see what is in front of us in the next.  Everyday, though it may seem the same and as though nothing new ever happens, is different, new, and to be explored.

One of my favorite quotes is this:

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time. 
~T.S. Elliot~

Those words fill my heart and challenge me.

Friday, 2 May 2014

Top 10

1~ A massive milestone for our family. A crazy amount of hours went into prepping for it.  We
      are exhausted, exhilarated, empowered and positive about the future!
2~ Have I mentioned how I adore the guy in my life?  He leaves me speechless, spellbound and
       utterly blown away by the love we continue to build.
3~ My crazytown princes skipped school to participate in our big day!  They were pumped but
       very quickly realized that a work day is much more difficult and draining than what they 
       are used to at school!  They worked hard and I am so proud that they are becoming such 
       responsible young men who are not afraid of hard work and a little mud on their shoes!
4~ There are too many of you to name so I will try to blanket cover this one.  A ridiculously
       massive thank you to the ladies in my life!  Whether it is an encouraging text or email, a 
       smile or pat on the back, an offer of your time - even if I was never around, or if we were    
       lucky, a visit at the coffee shop. You have helped to carry me this year.  Also to those of 
       you who I haven't seen in way too long, I will do my best to get back on track!  Like I said, 
       words don't cover the fullness in my heart.  
5~ I am so thankful for a comfortable bed, warm blankets and a quiet neighborhood that 
       provides therapeutic shelter!
6~ To my family, near and far.  You are the BEST!  
7~ To the warriors in my life who pray me through each day, there are no words.
8~ The sun came out and shone its blessing in our moment of need.  SO AWESOME!
9~ For this space.  I am so thankful it is here, because it's an outlet that lets me be me.  Outside
       of the chaos that is my life, I find comfort here, in these words and in the vague idea of
      anonymity I find in this page.  In a way it is large piece of my sanity and one of my truest
      forms of expression.
10~ My running shoes.  They carry me and help me to dump the crazy from my head.          
         They provide so much more than a physical workout, in fact, I'd only give the physical  
         40% of the credit and purpose.  I am a better me when my shoes carry me home!

  It has been one incredible week, and indeed, I am a very blessed lady!
  Happy Weekend, folks!  Make a list and say thanks....