Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Frank Turner - The Way I Tend To Be (Live)

Mid-Week Confessions

 We all have moments where we need someone to save us.  Fess up, people, we all need a hand every now and then, even you superhero type.
  I tend to sentimentalize, maybe even sensationalize, many of these moments and especially those few special people who offered their hand, whether they knew it at the time or not.  I am truly thankful, even if my memory truly is crap.
  I remember weirdly vague moments.  They are the moments that I carry with me.  Those moments I know for certain have shaped who I am today.  Moments I wish I could rewind and express to the other person how thankful I am and how they were game changers for me.
  A specific smile.
  A special delivery in the post.
  A harsh and defining word of correction offered in love.
  A teacher who cared enough to ask.
  A friend who never asks, but always receives you in whatever state you turn up.
  A friend safe enough and patient enough to listen as silent tears fall.
  An altogether unexpected phone call that makes everything better.
  An understanding shoulder that needs no words.
  I feel fortunate enough to have encountered repeatedly throughout my life those special people who've acted as angels in specific situations, whether those people were just passing through or permanent fixtures.
  Like I said I tend to sensationalize and over romanticize many of those game changer moments, especially with the gift of hindsight in play.  
  I guess my point is that we all need help now and then.  
  I confess I suck at asking.  I suck at needing help, and I will likely turn down help or try to bite your head off if you push me or go ahead and do it without my knowledge...just ask my mom. (Sorry about that one mom....again.)
  Anyway, we all need someone to save us.  We were not created do it on our own.  That's what I've come to learn, and though I know this, it doesn't make it easy going forward.  It's that constant battle between the head and the heart, between your independent and rebellious will versus sound reason.
  Asking for help takes humility.
  It takes admitting you're not right, or have it all together, or are perhaps not fully equipped or prepared to handle what lies ahead, or at least that is what I am somehow able to convince myself....are you any different?
  Accepting the helps takes vulnerability, and man oh man, that's a tall order all too often.
  The thing is we need to be reminded of and to embrace these big concepts and stop thinking about them as weakness or lacking, because, in fact, they are beautiful, growth inducing and imperative character builders.
  I don't know about you but I want my character built, sculpted and redefined.
  If you get that lucky chance to thank one of those special "helpers" in your life, take it, say thank you.  It could be a game changer for them!
  Yikes.  Those are all seriously big things.  I guess you could say that's the way I tend to be! (Sorry, it was right there, and I am definitely dorky that way!)  I couldn't decide between these two so I didn't.  Good stuff!


Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Paolo Nutini - Better Man [Acoustic]

 Here is my musical obsession for the week.  The whole CD is available today and I can't wait to watch my play counts soar, because if what I've already heard through sneaky peeks on the radio is any indication, this will be a favorite for a long time to come!!

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Toby Mac - Get Back Up (Lyrics)

When you face disappointment how you react matters?

  For the record, I wrote this months ago, but courage failed me, and airing this grand disappointment was too much to share.  

  I received a piece of disappointing new yesterday.  I'd been waiting to hear from a publisher for a year and a half and the news finally came via email late afternoon.  I had already had a bit of a bummer of a day and I was feeling emotionally raw and a little bit wrung out. 
  I wasn't expecting it, that's for sure, and to be honest, most days I didn't even think about my work and its success or failure being held in the palm of another's hands.  Yesterday for certain it was the furthest thing from my mind.  But the ax fell nonetheless.
  I will easily admit that it wasn't my best work, it was only my second attempt at telling a story after all, but there was something in this one that made it extra special, magical if you will, that had me believing in it.  I guess it would be best put that this story holds my heart, or a huge piece of it anyway.
  Here you go guys, the moment you've all been waiting for....I am going to spill my guts!
  I wanted this, probably more than I have ever wanted anything in my life, and it's sort of bizarre because I could do absolutely nothing to help my cause; I could only wait.  I couldn't perform at peak levels at a second tryout, shake hands or meet the decision makers face to face.  I couldn't hand over a plan to sell the crap out of this book, I couldn't convince them of the validity and saleability of my imagination's story.  I could only wait, and so that's what I did.  I waited.
  I saw the email and I somehow knew.  You couldn't receive such wonderful news with no bells and whistles or fanfare to accompany it.  It's funny, I was prepared for the rejection, it would be foolish not to be, but even so, I didn't see it coming, and certainly not on this day.
  So YES!  I am incredibly disappointed.  I am feeling a bit wounded, raw and scraped up.  I am wondering where to look, where to turn and ultimately what my next step will be.

Here's What I Know

  Yes, disappointment sucks.  
  I will not let it define me.
  Rejection does not mean failure.
  There is no shame in disappointment on this occasion.
  I wrote a book!  I wrote a book that the publishers were interested in and held on to for a long time, but ultimately couldn't choose for whatever reason.
  I wrote a book!  That's what matters.  I did one of those things I'd always wanted to do, something I LOVE, and that is a grand success in itself, (even if only those of you who ask are the lucky ones to hold it in your hands).  
  I also know I won't quit; this is just one obstacle on the journey.
  I will keep writing because it is something I love, something that is inside of me and needs to be let out. I write for me and any other affirmation I receive would simply be icing on the cake!
  I will not give up.

  My princes love this song, they love all that Toby Mac does actually.  My giant child put this song on first thing this morning; he's our morning DJ.  He knew nothing about my rejection, I didn't have a chance yesterday to talk with them about it, and I honestly needed to steep myself in my feelings before I did, to understand what I felt, why and what it all means to me.  But they have been on this journey with me so I will speak to them about it soon; there is a lesson in everything.
  Anyway, have a listen and whether you like the song or not, you tell me if there is a lesson to be learned in the lyrics.  I would go so far as to say that, for me, this morning anyway, these words are Heaven sent.